So I hear many of my clients saying they want to change a thought, feeling or behaviour but they just can’t do it, they have always done it this way or it is what their mother has taught them or even that it is genetic! I hear it time after time…I have always beat myself up when I get something wrong, I have always eaten when I feel down, I have always…the list is endless.
The reasons for keeping that thought or that behaviour are there because you believe it serves you in some way, i.e. by doing this thing you are looking after yourself. Now if you decide you want something different then you need to think something different!
This requires a few steps,
- Awareness – oh look I have just eaten a chocolate bar when I felt bad.
- Acknowledgement – It was me who decided to put the chocolate bar in my mouth no one else or any sadness made me do it.
- Acceptance – It is okay that I ate the chocolate bar, that is the way I have learnt to look after myself so far.
- Understanding – why did I choose to eat a chocolate bar when I was sad, it may be that is what I have always done to stuff it so I don’t have to look at the reason for the sadness.
- Change – Seeing as I now want to take care of my health and be fit in my body and mind, I am going to call Rekha to look at the reasons for the sadness rather than eat the chocolate bar 🙂
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